I remember when I used to tell strangers how Lebanon is a nice country and how all the prejudices they had against us were absurd and completely untrue. No, we do not live in tents nor do we ride camels. And yes we do have water and electricity in our houses. We are the country of party and fun, the Ibiza of the Middle-East. And come on, we all at least once in our life bragged about how our weather is perfect and how "during the month of march, one can do some ski then 3 hours later swim in the sea".
I don't say any of that today. We might not live in tents but we can't afford buying an apartment! We might not ride camels but most of the people spend a huge part of their salary on fuel for their cars. And riding a camel is much more honorable than taking a "service". Electricity and water are just an old memory, a fantasy. We can party and act as if we didn't care, but does it make us better? Are we courageous or just irresponsible? Escaping reality won't get us anywhere near the "west".
Because we gotta admit it, our main purpose is to be called "the Europe of the Middle-East"; which isn't necessarily wrong. The problem is, we decided to imitate the "bad" aspect of Europe rather than choosing the "good" one. Europeans don't party all the time! I mean, I don't wanna be a religious extremist nor do I want to party everyday. Why isn't it possible? I don't wanna listen to "Haifa" nor do I want to support those wannabe-hipsterish bands such as "Mashrou3 Leila". Do I really need to choose?
And let's not talk about the shitty weather and the unbearable heat! I am not supposed to nag because I have a generator that can handle my AC so I'm gonna shut up... But when I go outside the house, I suffer a lot. It's worse than a sauna.
I do not believe that Lebanon is a nice place. Nothing about it is good. We do not have politics. We do not have a culture. We do not have laws. We do not have a "strategic position". We do not have natural wealth. We do not have a history. We simply have nothing and the only reason I don't leave this piece of land is because my family lives here.
We are not a country, we are a fucked up pseudo country!
So am I getting older or are things changing? The only thing I feel towards Lebanon today is disgust.